...Warning: LONG....

Today has just been completely emotionally trying, and it is still the morning. And I've been thinking- like I tend to do too much. (This post may be just a rant of sorts...)

I think I am becoming a person which my parents, or just family in general, really won't like. I am absolutely loving my women's studies classes, and it has opened my eyes to a lot of shit around me that I knew upset me but I had no ways of defining them. Also my Asian-American class has opened my eyes to issues that I would never have seen before. This whole idea of 'otherness'... and other than being a lesbian, I have taken being socially invisible for granted. But now that I can stand back and look at world through different eyes, it is amazing. I've begun to question preconcieved notions and norms and think i'm growing as a person. It's too bad that it is a person that I think my parents won't really like... I'm on the path of femme-nazi-ism, apparently.

I watch TV now and see commercials and get irritated by the blatant sexism and stereotypes used to sell products. I watch the news and am skeptical of almost everything, and become frustrated when I never see newscasters who are women wearing pants, only short shirts that expose their legs. I am a feminist. Unfortunantly, society likes to deal those who call themselves 'feminists' as 'radical' or 'militant'. Well fine, if that is the case then go right ahead and call me a radical or militant feminist. While you're at it, go ahead and bring up the jokes and stereotypes of a lesbian feminists.

I am also embracing my gayness more because it's a part of who I am. Yes, I like my short hair. Yes, I like looking cute and girly every once and a while, but I really like wearing (form-fitting) guy's clothes. No, I will not hide my tomboyish tendencies (ex: the way I walk, sit, stand, hold myself). Yes, I do demand the same rights as every other american in this country... I'm sorry if that disappoints you, but it's who I am.

UGH I need to stop ranting. I'm making myself angry...

I'm sorry if I'm disappointing you, but this is who I am. Part of me is starting to think that I should just move somewhere far away to get out of my family's hair so I won't be such an embarrassment or disappointment...