This past Sunday night I decided to do some meditating because I hadn't done so in a little while. So I lit some candles, turned the lights off, lit some incense, and just drifted off... it was great. Something occurred to me, though, when I was meditating. I think I know why the reason why things tend to spin out of control for me and I have some problems. I lack self-discipline.

The reason why I have my weight issues? I lack enough self-discipline to control portions and go out to exercise... My financial problems? I sometimes lack the self-discipline to stop myself from buying unneeded stuff (although I've been really good about that recently). Academic problems? I lack the self-discipline to get things done when I need to... or sometimes to even go to class.

But I want to change- I want to be better. This semester I really have been trying, but not really consciously trying. I knew I wanted to be better, but I didn't know what exactly I was changing about myself to BE better. But now that I've located that part of me I want to change, I'm going to be more forceful about it.

It may take a little while though... especially that financial part. Another week has gone by without getting any hours from Wendy's, so I am applying to two more jobs (one that I am hoping I get...).

I'll write again later~ but for now, I have to jump in the shower and get some things done.