Three more days until a fresh start

Yes, I am alive! Sorry for break in updates! The holiday season sorta threw me into a time-warp where I didn't really realize how much time has gone by~ I look at the calender and, after seeing we only have three days left in 2008, proceed to pinch myself in disbelief. Where the hell did this year go??

I'm not sure if its because I spent half of my year in Japan, which threw my time-perception into hyperdrive, or if its just because I am getting older, but this year feels more like a quick dream than a steady 365 days. I remember being 8 years old and looking enviously at my older cousins, thinking to myself "being that old is such a long way away. But I can't wait that long!". And at that time, time DID move slowly. The minute hand on the clocks moved so much slower... I can't recall when the clocks began ticking faster! Now I'm at a stage in my life where I feel like the minutes are just flying.

My christmas was uneventful and quiet. I couldn't really afford to buy gifts for anyone, so I instead painted for my sister and parents. I feel so cheap -_-;; It's been so hard to find a job! I've been turned down more times than I can count and it is really discouraging. Meanwhile, I have bill collectors calling me countless times a day... so I feel like I have my hands tied behind my back and I'm not able to do anything. I've also learned that I've failed a few classes this past semester. Whoo reverse-culture shock! Apparently I wasn't alone in the returning exchange students who were met with poor grades and difficulties re-adapting to our home country. We had little time to recoop after coming back before the school year started (for me, NO time. I moved back home from Japan and almost immediately moved into my BG apartment...). Sorta just... snapped and lost it. I equate it to a super hot pan suddently being put under an ice-cold waterfaucet. NOT a good idea! There is a hell of a lot of steam and the pan will get warped and fucked up, no matter how strong it is... not sure if thats a good analogy, but it works for me haha

But not everything is so bad! In just three days it will be 2009 and I will have a fresh start. There will be a new semester waiting for me to make up for my failures this past semester. I've started doing yoga and meditating more often. And I've found an absolutely amazing person who can make me smile almost effortlessly :) Despite how shitty these past few months have been and how difficult things may be or might be, I am happy.

Lets hope I can keep this up.

Until next time :)
Lots of love!
XOXO