Classes and Homework and Wendy's, oh my!

Yes, it's been a busy busy week. Granted, all of my classes were cancelled yesterday due to snow (haha winter, there are times when I just adore you...), which was nice. It gave me some time to work on some research for my Women in American History class. I also was able to take a short nap in the middle of the day, and its been a while since i've been able to take a nap... it was nice. :)

I do finally have a job! I now officially am a slave for Wendy's at the student union. I have the hat and shirt to prove it! I had orientation (aka- signing my name on paperwork for an hour) on tuesday and got a 'tour' of the place. My official first day is tomorrow, when I work from 6-10PM. Then I work again on saturday and sunday. My weekends from here on out are pretty much absorbed by Wendy's. And when I'm NOT working, I'm either doing homework, reading for class, or hanging out with my girlfriend. I have a feeling that time will begin to fly...

I woke up this morning at 6AM to do pilates, and I am already sleepy again and want a nap... *drinks more coffee* guh... Don't really wanna go to Japanese club tonight. I've got shit to do for tomorrow, damnit, I don't wanna go! Why am I an officer? boo...

Alright, I'm outta here~
Love-

XOXO

Target Women: Birth Control & Lessons 2008

Sorry, I just can't help myself...





Love. TOTAL love.

Obama-lama-ding-dong~

That header made no sense whatsoever, but it caught your attention, did it not? :) HA silliness. I am so happy that I could watch history in the making~ all from the comfort of my library lobby.

There is a new president and I gotta say, it feels sorta odd. Ever since I entered into high school eight years ago until one hour ago the President has been George Bush. As I was watching the inauguration today, I kept thinking "wait... Bush is no longer president... this is weird... am I dreaming?? *pinches arm"

I remember when I was a freshman in high school, I was a HUGE Bush fan merely because my father was one and I was ignorant about pretty much everything. I had no understanding of politics, life, other peoples and cultures that were different from my own, I had not yet experienced any sort of oppression or discrimination for being gay, I accepted the norms and labels society had set out for me, and I followed my religious faith blindly without asking questions.

WOW have things changed! I am in no way saying that I am in any way enlightened and no longer ignorant, I feel that everyone is at least somewhat ignorant no matter how hard they try not to be or say they aren't. But I know that after eight years, I know that I understand myself and life much more than I did before. I've gone through love, heartbreak, failures, successes, experienced new cultures, met a wide variety of people, questioned and re-discovered my faith, came to terms and embraced myself, said 'fuck off' to social norms... Everything is different. And having a new and ideologically and politically different president has sorta thrown me into a really strange reality check about my own life, my future, and the future of my country.

I am both excited and nervous. Lets see how these next four years will go! *crosses fingers*

PS: I gotta say though, I giggled when I heard Obama mess up his oath into office... like "..AW! Seriously?!"

PPS: I love this... http://dorothysurrenders.blogspot.com/2009/01/vacation-vixen-michelle-obama.html "Our First Lady is Hotter Than Yours"

Weekend~

Hey everybody!

Well, I'm currently back in Cleveland. I'll be heading back to BG today though. I came back yesterday to look for my laptop CDs and hang out with my sister. I couldn't find my CDs, but went out with my sister at night and we watched the movie "Juno" when we got back. Good movie ;)

This weekend was pretty awesome overall. On Friday there was a going away party for one of the Japanese exchange students. She had to leave on Sunday so we threw her a party with her favorite food and drink: pizza and sprite (yay America... haha). It was pretty fun, although the huge group of people in my apartment was a little off-putting... anyone who knows me knows that I am somewhat uncomfortable in crowds of people. Add that to a small space and I get even more bothered... but I just dealt with it. After the party we went to my friend Michelle's place for 3 hours of Rock Band! It was amazing! (and according to my sister, Michelle and I look a lot a like... whatevs haha)

Then on Saturday I spent to day with my amazing awesome girlfriend. I hadn't seen any of the show Firefly before, and apparently that was a sin so we spent to day watching the DVDs I barrowed from my Dad :) Awesome awesome time! I am now a Firefly fan!

So today I will be going back to BG at some point and doing.... something that I haven't quite planned yet. I need to do a bunch of reading for classes tomorrow and Wednesday, so I should get some of that stuff done at some point today. AND I forgot to clean and do dishes before leaving for Cleveland yesterday so I should get those done before my roommate gets back from Marysville.... oops!

I leave you with a show that makes me laugh. A lot. It's great Japanese practice for me, but really its just hilarious. (And there ARE subtitles, so you can understand it~ there are a lot of language related jokes, but its still funny... )

XOXO

The World of GOLDEN EGGS Episode24
Uploaded by wattarusann

My future. I have a horrible habit...

... of thinking too much about decision-making. Ever since I began thinking about not enlisting in the army to go away to graduate school instead, I've not been able to concentrate or focus on anything. I had trouble falling asleep last night, and then had trouble staying asleep. Lots of rolling around, fidgeting, and ceiling-staring.

On one hand, I have the option of enlisting in the army and studying Chinese. All-in-all, its an amazing opportunity. I get paid to learn a language, may be able to travel, get part of my college repaid, extra money for when I leave... but then I noticed a trend. Money. Do I wanna be THIS guy?? ->
Even though the idea of learning Chinese seems really fun, would the job I do be gratifying at all? Yes I would love to learn, but translating military documents and the sort just aren't my cup of tea. Yeah I would be getting a whole lot of financial help, but would it be worth it in the end?

On the other hand, I have this new passion that I am so drawn to it shocks me. I have always been interested in women's and gender studies, but it wasn't until I was in the classes listening to my professors and reading the texts that I realized just how fascninated I am by it all. I feel a connection to it and I've never felt more motivated to study and be involved. Although History does interest me, it doesn't fire me up like my women's studies courses do. Because with women's studies, I feel like I can help change things for the better. Ever since being in Japan and seeing a complete lack of and acceptance of social and cultural equality between men and women (don't even get me started on gay rights there...), I've wanted to help change things... I WANT to change things! I want to help people...

So I'm faced with two options, but which have positive and negative outcomes. I can not join the army, go to graduate school and do what I love to do, although it will throw me further into debt to the point where I am concerned about my ability to be self-suffient. -OR- I can join the army and be financially sound and get free training but hide a huge part of my life and supress who I am and do a job that I could care less about and be driven soley by money. ... Fuck. Passion or Money?

I was talking with my sister about this. This is (basically) what she had to say:

"Megan, I don't think you'll be happy in the Army. Fuck money. Everyone else is broke too, not only you. You can find a job doing what you love and pay off your bills just like everyone else."

I am going to talk to my women's studies professor and see what she has to say. I need some advice... if I end up not enlisting, I have to find a university and program, a way to pay for it, and how and when I can graduate. Plus the disappointment that I'm afraid changing my plans would cause from my parents and family scare me. They seemed sorta happy when I mentioned wanting to enlist, and the reaction that some of them gave after I told them about wanting to study women's issues put me down a lot... I don't know what to do.

All I can say is that I'm so happy that it is the weekend and tomorrow will be amazing and is keeping me going.

-sigh-
XOXO

New Smiles and New Thoughts

Hey everybody! :) How's life treatin' all of you out there in cyberland?

Anywho~ my life is treatin' me pretty well! Its a nice change for once haha First off, I have the most amazing girlfriend ever! She goes to BG with me and is so beautiful, smart, funny, sweet... I couldn't be happier :) I just can't stop smiling whenever we hang out or chat, it's simply sublime. I am happy :) We are having a Firefly viewing marathon all of saturday and I am really looking forward to it!

In other news, I have a job interview for Wendy's on campus set for next thursday at 6! That's right, you heard correctly:  A JOB INTERVIEW! Pardon me as I take this moment to do a little happy dance~~~~ ok done. :)

In other other news, I am beginning to re-think enlisting in the Army... I haven't signed my name on that dotted line yet, so technically I can still back out if I wanted to. It's just that recently I've been reconsidering my career options and what I really want to do with my life after graduation. It hasn't taken me a long time to realize just how much I love my women's studies courses and my draw to it. And i've realized recently my increasing disinterest in continuing studying languages like Chinese... I love studying and speaking Japanese, but do I want to turn that into a career? And even so, what would I be doing with that language? Is knowing a language fun or interesting enough to make the work that goes with it tolerable? 

I want to focus my studies on gender issues and asia... I want to move to the west coast. Will going into the military really help that at all? I want to go to graduate school, I want to become a professor... will joining the Army and putting my life on hold all for a large sum of money worth it? I don't know... I feel like I'm sorta lost again. 

I know I don't have to make a decision now, but I'm one of those people who likes to decide on things and focus on them. Just what in the HELL am I going to do with my life? 

Alright, I'm off to sleep now~ goodnight everybody! 

XOXO

SNOW

It is cold. It has snowed everyday for the past 4 days. I LOVE IT. Just watch me stomp through the snow in my amazing-awesome-cool Gortex combat boots- just watch me! :)

Busted

That's right. I have once again pissed off the computer fairy and she has retaliated by crashing my laptop. Again. The damn thing was only 1 year old! TO THE DAY! It gave me the blue screen of death, so I took it into Best Buy so they could maybe fix it up for me. Well, when my mother bought it for me while I was in Japan last year, she got a warranty for it for 1 year. Well, the thing crashed on the same day my mom got it LAST year (if that made any sense at all...). So technically my warranty ran out, but the geek squad guy had pity on me and lied in the form about when I got my warranty and extended it a day (eternal hugs for that guy!). So away they took Betty (yes, I named my laptop Betty. Whats it to ya?!) to get a replacement hard drive.

So how am I writing this? Well, I've been taking a walk to my campus library everyday to check my email at least once a day since coming back to BG. It's sorta a pain in the ass, but it gives me an excuse to leave the apartment and get some fresh air. And oddly enough, now that I don't have a laptop to distract me, I've been able to get a LOT of shit done (like paint a ceramic piggy bank. Don't ask). I've gotten a lot of reading done, I've cleaned my whole apartment, written letters to people in Japan I haven't kept good contact with, continued painting, do yoga and Pilate's... So I'm looking at the positives in this situation :)

Classes begin again on Monday and honestly, I'm excited. I'm taking some women's studies and interesting history courses, so I'm looking forward to starting again. I know, I'm a huge nerd.

OK, I'm going to go to the post office to mail some letters and turn in a job application. Ta! :)

XOXO

PS: Tuesday was awesome, and I am super excited for tomorrow. HA for vagueness! :D

Brought tears to my eyes

Beautiful. Simply beautiful.

Happy New Year! How things can go from chaos to fixed in one day~

Happy New Years, everybody :) It's now 2009, and we only have three more years now until the world ends in 2012~ I know I'll try to spend my last three years well! ;) (For those who don't know, the Mayan calendar predicts the end of the world in 2012. They have been pretty accurate thus far for other things, so I am hoping they made a mathematical error for this particular event! Can't the world end after I die peacefully of old age 70 years from now??)

Anyway, my new years was pretty uneventful. My day was pretty lousy in the morning and afternoon though! I woke up sort of sick, I had collectors calling me constantly because I'm unable to pay my credit card bill, my Japanese camera's lens is broken, my computer was acting up and not working right (I have horrible computer luck...), and I have been repeatedly turned down for jobs despite how hard I've been working... So, I felt pretty lousy. What pushed me into a little crying fit was that my Zune, Betsy (yes, I named her), completely died. My Zune is pretty much my life-line because I cannot go a day without listening to music. I was thinking "Wow, really? Anything ELSE going to fuck up today?!"

But I've been trying to think more positively and optimistically recently. So I stepped back, took a few deep breaths, and proceeded to calmly work through everything. I called more places about work and finally got a possible interview with K-Mart. I figured I can use my old, crappy camera until I have enough money to repair my damaged camera. I finally answered the calls from the collectors and discussed a cheap way to slowly pay off my debt ($10 a month! Nice!). And I went to cleaning out and organizing crap on my computer so it would work better. So while my computer was running tests and fixing itself, I did an hour of Wii Fit (with plenty of yoga and stength exercises). That hour pretty much relaxed me and helped me calm down (thanks yoga!). THEN I learned that everyone's Zune was acting up! So it wasn't my fault for breaking! haha that relieved me a whole bunch. And now it is working again, so I am so happy! Betsy is a live and well. :)

So I spent New Years with my family. We watched "Pimp My Ride" for a while before moving onto playing Raving Rabbids on the Wii. We tuned in to CNN with Anderson Cooper and Kathy Griffin just in time to see the ball drop and see people make out on TV (which I didn't really wanna see...). Today I'm off to see my family at my grandparents (and getting a free vacuum! whoo hoo!) and then going out with my cousins at night. Overall, pretty busy from here on.

Hope everyone had a great and safe New Years! :)

XOXO